Make America Sweet Again

Make+America+Sweet+Again

Indigo Kroll, Writer

The polls are in – Ben & Jerry’s, famous for their deliciously creative ice cream flavors, are leading after creating a one-time ice cream flavor called “Bernie’s Yearning”.

Fans of ice cream and political revolutions alike were invited to enjoy free samples of the new flavor, served by frozen delicacy masters Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield themselves, at the Union Square in New York City.

Cohen describes the flavor as a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream topped with “a thick disc of solid chocolate, which represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top one percent”.

While “Bernie’s Yearning” is not being produced on a large scale (yet), many arrived to temporarily chill the #Bern with ice cream and left raving reviews.

The race has been a rocky road so far, but since “Bernie’s Yearning” was such a success, here are a few suggestions for more flavors based on the other presidential nominee candidates.

Drumpf’s Chocholate Dump
It’s beautiful, let me tell ya. I know all about ice cream, and let me tell ya, we’ve got some beautiful, great ice cream. I’m talkin’ great ice cream. Nobody knows ice cream like I do.

Canadian Bacon
Ted’s ice cream is bacon flavored with a hint of maple syrup. TrusTed by bacon lovers around the world and evangelically delicious! Not for sniveling cowards.

John’s Butter Pecan
On the list of favorite flavors, John’s Butter Pecan is trailing at the end. No one really actively admits to loving it, and some complain that it’s taking their favorite’s votes.

Hill’s Vanills
This flavor will have you dabbing in a pantsuit. While this ice cream isn’t doing so well among younger voters, it can promise that your dessert will come from a safe server.

Let’s make America sweet again, one new ice cream flavor at a time.