Amidst the oncoming slew of dramatic, heart-wrenching goodbye seniors Instagram posts and Twitter tweets, I am here to bring the sappiest farewell of them all to the graduating Newspaper staff members.

I’m not good with words (or beginning long, drawn out, meaningful pieces apparently). I’m not good with words verbally at least, not good at physically saying them. I’m also not big on clichés or tacky, cry-y goodbyes, so maybe this won’t be the sappiest farewell of them all.

Because of this, I’m sorry to say that as you guys (Allie, Harry, Sam, William, and special acknowledgement to Haven who isn’t a senior but also needs to be included in this and also Mrs. Vest a little bit) leave us sitting next to empty desks and move on to lead what I hope will be extremely successful and fulfilling, talonted college kid lives, you will not see me get emotional.

I’m not going to be cliche and call us a family, even though throughout this year we have grown extremely close, even though from the very beginning you all integrated us into your cult as if we’d been there the whole time.

Unfortunately, you will not get to hear me say that this year, through its ups and downs both inside and outside of school, has been lifted and lightened by the hilarity that is Newspaper.

The words “thank you” will not come out, because I don’t want to look over-dramatic, despite the fact that any day I walked into Newspaper with a less than happy demeanor, I could expect to
receive messages asking how I was and hoping for me to feel better. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me, because doing so would be tacky, and really, it’s your last day, you look nice, do we really want to cry and mess that up?

I don’t want to admit that I am going to miss eavesdropping on your conversations, not really because I’m sad about it, but mostly because Kallina and I agreed that that was a pretty creepy thing to spend all year doing. I still think the inside jokes between you guys that I’m not even apart of are hilarious, though, and I’m not sorry.

Although we never achieved our ultimate rap battle goals, or dropped our Newspaper mixtape, or ever went geocaching like we tried really hard to do at the beginning of the year, I am not going to say that I am still extremely proud of the work done by all of you inside and outside of Newspaper.

From WordsWithFriends, to immediate acceptance of my goat obsession, to Vitas, Prince of the Dolphin Voice, to gold stamp tattoos, to messed up panorama pictures, to rad style kepp it ups, to actually writing articles sometimes and actually doing the newspaper, to uteruses on the back of keyboards, to long-forgotten Monday meetings, to 222 days after William’s birthday, I will say this on behalf of the remaining Newspaper staff: bye, see you later.