The student news site of Rogers Heritage High School

The Talon

Weddings and Funerals

Kallina, Editor

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Weddings and funerals are not alike in most aspects, but they do share one commonality: they are absolutely, without-a-doubt, completely, and unquestionably necessary. There is no scenario I could imagine in which a wedding or funeral wouldn’t improve the circumstances.

Every time a person gets married, a wedding simply has to occur. Everyone knows, after all, the wedding is what builds the marriage’s foundation. That’s probably why people fork over thousands of dollars for one event. Weddings are stress-free celebrations of legally binding people together. Most people think that they’ll have only one wedding, but the good news is that with increasing divorce rates, more people will get to experience two happiest days of their life! The aesthetic for weddings in Arkansas is primarily the rustic, barn-yard, and wildflower style. That means that not only do many weddings have free food, but you get to eat that food in a barn with many of your closest acquaintances.

Funerals are just as important as weddings. Dead people take their funeral very seriously and get highly offended when their grieving loved ones don’t spend thousands of dollars on a casket for their decaying corpse to lay in. In addition to the cost of a coffin, a tombstone and epitaph, flowers, obituary, and mortician’s work are also expenses that grieving families should account for. You know what they say: There’s no business like taking advantage of loss. Maybe nobody actually says that, but it seems like every party in the bereavement business generally abides by this statement.

Both weddings and funerals are completely necessary. They make the world turn. That’s why people feel compelled to have them. Understated weddings and funerals should be punishable by life in prison. Every wedding and funeral need to be lavish and over-the-top because those are the true symbols love.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    Why Raisins are an Abomination

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    Make America Sweet Again

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    Memebusted: Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    Obama’s Last State of the Union Address

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    A Little Needed Inspiration For the End of the Year

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Satire

    3 Must Know Fall Fashion Tips!

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Entertainment

    Rapid Rise in Prison Population Due to Disloyalty to Queen B

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Entertainment

    Queen RiRi Stole Coins With Fenty Beauty

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Entertainment

    Generation Z

  • Weddings and Funerals

    Opinions

    The Rally

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






The student news site of Rogers Heritage High School
Weddings and Funerals